exactly 3 yrs after this blog launched, amazingly also on buddha’s b. day + mother’s day.

the 6th CE also “elected” .. ahead of a 8 rainy days towards the powerful full moon

already so much unexpected emotional turmoil, roller coaster ride, cutting of deep ties..

guess it is a divine timing to say goodbye to this blog also. as i have finally made up my mind to leave all my form identities behind, after decades as a daughter, wife, mom,….which sadly have been too draining / demanding … despite repeated efforts to fulfill the never ending selfish expectation to “make me happy”.

while understanding there r v. unconscious atmas, it is really time to reset, reborn, … after so many yrs going back and forth…

the system simply cannot handle so much negativity at all levels, complete cutting off seems a good option

from now on , moving fearlessly into the unknown, relying on the I AM ness. leaving the “comfort zone”, seeing through illusions…

god knows what might happen. or maybe will become more “god like”…

thanks for all who have been attracted to this site. regardless u like it or not. hope u got uplifted / cheer up / inspired a little.

THANK YOU!

TAKE CARE. FAREWELL!

Sat Nam Deep I

Namaskar

p.s. this site has been handed over to my daughter, Wing, who may or may not post something or continue the blog .

Best Wises to ALL!

2 yrs after covid, when people thought it’s almost over, came omicron.

it’s interesting to see how people now polarized in respond

there r those who get even more fearful thus heavily rely on vaccine, self isolation…

whereas others decide to take back control regardless.

with various administrative measures, injection rate now over 90%.

to find someone who is willingly and not fearfully chooses not to have a jab is like finding a jewel

today, at seaside on a sunny p.m, i had the luxury

a retired 70+ man , chinese herbal medicine dr., who so nicely / creatively / kindly … printed quotes from ancient medical book on the back of his name card.

it’s so rare to find people who so faithfully, confidently, wisely .. to believe themselves, that with proper diet, sunlight, positive thoughts, high awareness and mastery of emotions, exercise, sleep….we can have very strong immune system that can ward off all virus

it’s time to take back our power and responsibilities of our health, instead of shirking to “experts”.

afterall , not only our health, but everything that happens to us r largely created / attracted by us : our thoughts, beliefs, vibes…

may more awake and get back to the right path.

may love, courage, respect win over aggression, asap., .. deep great peace after war

Sat Nam Deep I

Namaskar

watching an excellent video about Seth’s teaching

seeing the full moon right in front of balcony 2 a.m. while enjoying encouraging spiritual teaching

when the big rising moon suddenly appear in front, right opposite the setting sun

a quite trip to the supermarket at night, getting fresh fruit and veggies, and stroll peacefully home

yoga on the beach under hot sun after days of rain

a quiet outdoor canteen meal with sun, trees, birds, butterflies, bees, …

a great shower upon return home after longs hrs in hot sun

freedom to be alone, chose our own lifestyle, places to go, things to do

having a quiet cozy home for spiritual growth

when we can still project a more or less normal life for ourselves despite all possible chaos

when we finally truly trust that we r loved by the universe, and get back our power to be the creator

when we realised our unique role / potential / talents and tap into / develop them to create something good for ourselves and others

when we see how value system of current world has been twisted, and the kind, loving, “good” people deserve greater financial abundance

when we acknowledge that the universe is unlimitedly abundant…

in God, we trust

Sat Nam Deep I

Namaskar

quite a lot happened near our 29th wedding anniversary

a few weeks earlier, the horrible rash that haunted me for a long time yrs ago, suddenly returned. luckily only limited mainly to lower body. it was a super painful process when one could not function as a human being – too itchy to eat / sleep…

luckily, 2 spiritual teachers also popped up around same time. very unexpectedly

one has been promoting Seth’s teaching for almost 3 decades. it was, like Eckart, a re-connection after many yrs, this time, being able to understand more deeply and put into practice.

with surrender, and faith that external is a mirror / projection of our inner world / result of our thoughts, beliefs… i responded differently this time.

the result : still challenging, but probably cut down suffering to the minimum , and able to rise above tribulation every time.

the day before our anniversary, even able to go swimming with daughter, a dip after 4.5yrs!

the wonderful outdoor pool with sea view, that i visited first time after living here 5 yrs!

last time we swam together was at a resort, beginning of 2017. sooooo much happened since then.

it would be great to “re-activate” this great exercise that i love so much since i was a small, particularly with the presence of daughter at this excellent infinity pool, with trees, bird, sunlight around. how blessed.

then on the actual day and the days follow, i was able to spend much time alone, with nature, sunlight, sunset, new moon, pink clouds, bright stars, beach with much land at low tide…seaside picnic under hot sun, quiet early morning yoga at beach….

and, most importantly, made it very clear that self-reliance shall be the goal forward

never going back to the 3D roll as a wife. which is really sick and too unfair to women, who r expected by society to sacrifice herself for the betterment of the “family”

now with children fully grown and independent, it’s time to get back her basic rights/ power / freedom to be herself, follow her own path, be guided by her own inner compass to create whatever she is meant to create / fulfill her roll as a conscious presence most of the time.

i thank all the challenges / pain/ suffering / people .. who have brought me here. know ultimately i am the one who chose to be involved in all that in order to grow, learn, see clearly, get wiser, stronger, more loving towards oneself and others….and to ultimately know who we are, our power , mission…

so goodbye 1st 5 decades of my life, during which i chose for myself great hurdles

from now on, create and expect “miracles”, regardless of externals.

Blessings be to all

Sat Nam Deep I

Namaskar

6/24/2021. another full moon to remember.

7 days before 24th yr after hk returned to prc, a newspaper forced to close down 26 yrs after operation, not because of no business, but the reverse.

after 2 yrs of continual “surprises”, unimaginable event one after another, hkers seem to be used to “shock”.

what’s stunning is not that the paper was cracked down, (which, of course, is also unbelievable just 2 yrs ago), but how calm and positive all responded : the staff, the reader, those who can help out…

particularly impressed by the creativity and trust that the staff of apple allowed fellow journalists from other media to enter into their work place to report how the last paper was produced

so focused, professional, calm … in face of suppression, unemployment, some even legal proceedings…

people gathered outside the building to support those working inside hard, till the last minute,

staff who have resigned, returned to witness the historical moment.

higher mgt. released on bail, came back to thank staff for staying and working hard till the end

meanwhile, hundreds of hkers lined up at mongkok, mid night, in rain, to wait for this last issue

it continued during the day, in central, other places … people lined up in pouring rain… for this last paper printed 1M copies, all sold out

rain poured almost whole day. rarely

yet, after “the end” , more new beginnings.

some continue to write, in another channel / format; other organisations planning to recruit now unemployed staff, overseas hkers planning to print something similar overseas to extend the apple spirit, …the most encouraging of all, people remain faithful, positive, … knowing this is only temporary. seeds of the fallen apple shall grow again into big apple tree over time.

it is interesting to see how hkers have learnt and transformed over just 2 yrs.

no more yelling, protest, marching, strong emotions,… but peace, wisdom, faith, strength..

rain stopped finally this evening. blessed with low tide and last minute quiet beach time before dark to move a while and bless all.

may the pain/ tears be finally over / ease, and we all ready to start a new journey to replant the seed wherever we go.

Sat Nam Deep I

Namaskar

it was a rare full moon + lunar eclipse

surprisingly big crowd turned up to watch the partial eclipse in the evening

i stayed at home did some sewing, very rarely

lucky all safe and no unexpected “surprises”

today, a sunny day after heavy rain. i went nearby seaside. on the way, unexpectedly ran into a long term no see “friend” who pretended not to see me.

somehow i did not greet him either. yet what happened just for less than a minute haunted me for hours.

it drives me deeper into asking myself the questions many try to avoid thinking : what really is important, what exactly do you want, want makes u happy,… ultimately, what do u want to do with life…

by divine guidance, i was told self reliance is the key. don’t be afraid to fly solo

incidentally, an attempt to arrange for a family gathering recently has also stirred up much disturbances / unease / negative vibes

so, the day after full moon, also the best day to plant the seeds, i am recording this resolution that came to my mind while i took a very relaxed and short walk after dinner, shortly after moon rise.

blessed to see the big bright moon shining above mountain. no rain. quiet.

from now on, distant as much as possible from people who drain me / do not appreciate or even look down upon me / asking too much of me / take me for granted / consciously or unconsciously compete with me… in general, made me feel very unpleasant when connected….

instead, spend more time with people who are uplifting, joyful, healthy, inspiring… with whom i can share my silence presence / co create something for the greater good / see my full potential / appreciate my presence / help me become independent , financially abundant, even more developed / evolved…

sure not easy to find. but hopefully with greater determination to set boundaries and focus more on oneself the right atmas will be drawn

it is at the new home and the blood moon that this msg is sent out to the universe

i look forward to a much more self-reliant, abundant, healthy, joyful, fulfilled, carefree ..life after a very challenging half a century.

it is my wish to live life to the fullest as much as possible, allowing things to happen, while still be able not to worry, but be happy.

so be it, so be it, so it is

Sat Nam Deep I

Namaskar

this is by far the most easy and seamless home move in decades.

in just about 6 weeks since we first visited a flat, I totally moved in.

a relocation that i had been wishing for about 5yrs yet for various reasons did not materialise!

before the complete vacation, actually i have been sleeping in the almost empty flat with very minimal items for about 2 weeks. relying on yoga mat + quilts as bed, and seat support as chair, eating working sitting on the floor…

a minimalist lifestyle very worth experiencing.

with more items arrived and greater convenience + comfort, also less space

finally out of the lion den / volcano (the relentless upstairs neighbour who keep making all kinds of loud noise night and day) , peace of mind + quietness not enjoyed long long time.

yesterday, a day to remember, too. when the universe closed the door one after another since 9 a.m., all planned activities / attempts failed, cut by scissors and knife… coinciding with the super power outage of taiwan…

finally in the evening, some quiet time by seaside, sun came out again..

today, all seems back to normal, with issues that failed for days, resolved..

sure a test of resilience, patience, alertness, strength,..

finally it seems most have been set up and settled. though knowing very well it’s only for a new beginning, not a destiny.

how wonderful to be able to refocus on one’s wellbeing, instead of always wasting / draining energies combating the unnecessary interruptions.

leaving finally the past behind. + all the wounds, complaints, anger, feeling of unjustice…

again, in the month may, buddha’s birthday, starting anew

be a light onto the world. regardless of what i do, where i am, whom i am with…

may the worst be behind, and that we r always ready to face any challenges that comes along…

SAT NAM NAMASKAR

magical. as if a coin is flipped over

things/ projects that have been stagnant for yrs suddenly moving super fast

out of all expectations.

when time comes for that suddenly click, that we finally let go of what we want / desire / required, and open up / willing to explore other “less desirable” options, really ALL doors open!

nice people, quiet clean peaceful home, even connected to a very welcoming family with kids just started learning piano, have my 4 decades old friend checked, cleaned, and moved in 2 days!

unbelievable after we have been searching for a suitable owner for yrs

when time comes, no more linger on. god is pushing hard and fast

before then, no use yelling / struggling. meant to stay

it’s a matter of how fast we finally learnt the lesson, to see through illusions and finally surrender

before we can experience the miracle / divine plan that the universe has for us.

truly a blessing in disguise.

beyond words / what the eyes can see…

serendipity… like pcs of puzzles that fit together to form a complete picture, fast,..

no more words besides a great THANK YOU!

AMOR FATI

salutation to all those who have suffered so much so long ago, yet still managed to leave us timeless wisdom.

SAT NAM NAMASKAR

may u all be blessed with much freedom, joy, peace, abundance…. in another dimension.

Sat Nam Deep I

certainly an unforgettable one.

1st time daughter host a b. day party at “her home”.

very simple pizza and b.day cake but mom was as joyful as a little kid enjoying all b. day display, popper, special candle, singing of b. .day songs, cake cutting, and of course, lots of photo taking.

it was a long way from their home and everyone actually quite tired. luckily went well.

we were even greeted by the stunning beauty of the rising super moon before we left home.

then, after sending them to bus terminus, we walked unexpectedly through the nearby park, all the way guided by the bright moon . enjoying some tranquility not available daytime.

i guess mom is very typical of the earlier generations, in which social norms define success as accumulation of wealth (car, house, $…), jobs u / yr children hold, how many people send u flowers / gifts / greetings on b.day / festivals…

few of them conscious enough to create happiness for themselves, or have the ability to enjoy aloneness, relying instead action / words from other. which in fact is the source of unhappiness.

recent decades, we were lucky enough to have more awakened people who r willing and brave enough to share their experience / knowledge to set us free from others / even all external circumstances, if we r conscious enough.

it’s both a training and a journey for all of us. to accept / transform all “negative experience” so that we become wiser, stronger, more awakened beings.

the most joyful people probably r those who r able to enjoy all worldly pleasure / goodies, while realizing that they r really not necessary.

the “joy of being” as Eckart put it.

may we all be able to taste this nectar. knowing that being happy / joyful is an ability, and largely does not depend on external.

then everyday will be b. day, and we celebrate for the “trivial” we enjoy everyday, which mostly r free : sunlight, excellent weather, fresh air, good health, waves, birds, trees,.. a sincere exchange of smile to strangers….

Blessings be to all

Sat Nam Deep I

Namaskar

a special day to remember.

my ex-colleague almost 20 yrs ago would have turned 58 today if she has not left her physical body a few yrs earlier.

323 also the make of our 1st new car which have accompanied us for 14 yrs, witnessed the grow of our daughter

yesterday, i truly turned 53 , after the lunar b. day.

a very challenging yet transformational period to remember lately. as we tried hard to search for a good home still b c. of the noise upstairs (for almost 5 yrs) and in vain. price really too crazy..

it has gone up so fast in just 5 / 6 yrs that we could not afford to buy a proper home again, even a small one.

last night, as if by some divine blessings, some very inspiring videos popped up, all about the “backward principle” / surrendering / have less is more…. in fact the concept of minimalism has surfaced quite sometime ago, just a lot more convincing / imminent lately

kind of like a sudden blow, or someone who is forced to give up after trying so hard so long, i feel a sense of lightness though the external has not changed at all, simply my conscious choice to let go : all wanting, the best, how others should behave, the need to do good, be good, have more…keeping more…

some very inspiring msg from mid night : that when our lives seem falling apart, and we cannot see the way out, actually our lives might be falling into places

again, we might be dragged /pulled/ pushed to paradise without knowing, thinking we r heading toward hell, thus crying / yelling all the way!

we joked earlier amongst ourselves that it probably is a blessing instead of a failure not being able to buy a flat. now, it seems that it is quite real. given many things that r happening lately :the hostile US / PRC talk, eruption of volcano at iceland that has been dormant for about a century, frequent earthquakes nearby…more deaths after vaccination…and of course, the continual regression of freedom we once lavishly enjoyed

as an experiment / challenge , i am determined to try out the minimalist lifestyle . focusing only the essentials and what truly makes me happy :

yoga / air surf by the sea, hiking, paying attention to nature, appreciate the beauty / presence of flowers, birds, butterflies, sunset, moonrise, high tides, low tides…

as such, i shall spend less time writing , and more time being, experiencing, connecting…

some wonderful moments to remember lately before this probably the last / last few blogs :

an unplanned late p.m. hike to a nearby trail with daughter and husband.

started very grumpy with a lot to vent

yet turned out a very blessed 1.5 hr walk exploring new routes, meeting people twice uphill and down hill, seeing many pets enjoying the walk, and be blessed by the setting sun right between 2 bldgs before we get down to street level

then, a serene night at the park table and bench, enjoying veggie rice burger take away right under the half moon.

a garbage man stayed close for a long time. friendly. polite. very receptive and thankful to the healing / balancing stickers we gave him.

and, a few truly blessed short period of low tide time by the very raw seashore so i can enjoy some take away lunch after much morning exercise. quiet. only sound of waves, occasional visit of pet / children of nearby residents. no rain, nor strong wind…

reminds me again that contentment can be “easy”. yet priceless.

maybe we really don’t need too much. if fact the ability to let go might really be the way to happiness

how not to feel inadequate, lack , not beautiful / good / smart / fashionable enough… in general, inferior, regardless of ourselves / our “social status” which is often defined by what we wear, own , our car, house, …might be the real training.

it requires a very strong and conscious mind to deny what the world is telling u / trying to make u feel

may we all have greater power, wisdom and consciousness to see through the conditioning.

so as to co create a more healthy, balanced, joyful, loving new world

Sat Nam Deep I

Namaskar