Love Beyond Words

My Dad passed away about 2 years ago very unexpectedly and fast. At the age of 85 he was still quite active going here and there alone most of the time, enjoying see people fishing…

So when i got the call from other family members that he was admitted to A&E and very soon passed away, it was very hard to accept.

Yet unbelievably i was very calm that night. Even decided not to go immediately to the hospital to see his body.

Later i knew, it was exactly during that 1.5 hours that i was in a modern ballet lesson that he was admitted to hospital and finally ascended.

What’s more eerie is that i have not been dancing for quite a few years, only very recently did i get back, and that night, amazingly trying out a new teacher and a new class.

It was a song about “silver and white hair” that i have not heard before, yet liked it so much immediately, and the choreography was so excellent that it blended perfectly with the song.

i was describing this wonderful experience to my daughter and husband over the phone when i was informed very shortly afterwards what happened during the same period.

Truly heaven to hell experience!

of course, after that “super calming night” came waves of emotions and various thoughts that attempt to explain what happened.

by now, i would still feel that it is the will of Dad not to allow us to see him in pain, but to live happily every moment.

in the eyes of so many, he was almost a “failure” , with little education, possessions, knowledge, skills… . I never realised his importance in me until he left his physical body. We did not meet up often except during festivals, or special occasions, and he was very quiet every time during family gatherings.

It was only after his ascension do i realised that his presence is enough, and to be able to maintain noble silence in in midst of certainly unfriendliness / judgement / dis agreement is truly something remarkable.

this reminds of my grandpa, who also managed not to say a word despite heated debates over the dining table.

coward? quite the contrary i would say. only the rather enlightened being will have the power, patience and big heart to let go of the need to be right / understood / agreed to, but to fully accept and surrender to “what is”.

i am super grateful and thankful to my Dad for his presence with me for almost half a century. i am sure he knows it, too.

Namaskar

Sat Nam Deep I