Social Conditioning

Since very small, we all have been conditioned to think / act in certain way according to our gender, culture, social norm, social class, family background…

As a Chinese i was born to parents with the very common traditional belief that children are treated almost like life-long private properties that are supposed to generate income and service as long as they survive.

the thinking probably originated during the times when agriculture is common and more children means greater work force thus higher productivity.

the concept of “养儿防老” is still common nowadays where children are seen as a kind of insurance policy for old age.

for half a century, i tried my utmost to fulfill my role as a “good daughter” despite how much i disagree with this idea.

i am not saying we should not be good to our parents, yet it should come only from our hearts instead of a duty. All children can tell whether someone is really good to them or only treat them a mean to an end.

i was brought up with the motto “should”. that i should do what i am supposed to do, never what i like.

the positive side of this is : my painful experience serve as a perfect example of what not to do for my parenting, so that i am able to nourish my daughter into a happy jolly with much wisdom, consciousness and big heart.

today, she is the one who encourages me to be more of myself, to say no / stand firm against demands, even though that means disapproval / mis-understanding from others.

my suggestion to all parents is that we act as facilitators / coaches / guides to our children to help them blossom into the flower they are supposed to be, instead of moulding them into someone we’d like them to be.

then they shall remain genuinely grateful and become a positive force / power / energy to enhance the world throughout their lives.

Namaskar

Sat Nam Deep I